The Island Shoe Girl's Blog

These perfect Betsy Johnson's heels are worthy of any queen with a royal title, beauty pageant title, or even just a self appointed title. Photo by Jean Thornton

There always seems to be a big question about titles and who gets to have them. Once upon time it was an issue of great negotiations to determine who would get to be called what and over which land they would rule, figuratively or literally. Think about poor Anne Boleyn; she completely lost her head at the end of the wrangling and the arranging of her marriage and Royal Highness rights. Over the vast history of titles and proper name calling, many have gotten away with their heads still intact but with their titles slightly tarnished, if not removed all together. For some, relinquishing a title may be the ultimate sacrifice for love as was the case with the frowned-upon relationship between Prince Edward VIII and the scandalous American divorcee Wallis Simpson. For others, such as Princess Diana, the sacrifice of the title “Her Royal Highness” was part of the resolution for a love gone badly.

In present-day America, a different twist has come about in the delegation of titles as it has now come down to Donald Trump to determine when a Queen loses her rights, title, and spectacular crown—at least when it comes to a beauty queen under the Miss Universe Pageant Organization. You needn’t watch the actual pageant, only the well- staged press conferences frequently filled with tear-stained blondes, who gratefully thank the tycoon for not giving them the tired old “you’re fired” catch phrase. Somehow the title of Miss USA that I dreamed of as a little girl has expanded to include the release of scandalous topless photos, admitted illegal drug use, and politically motivated statements. So perhaps it is better I did not earn that title.

As I watch these disgraced Queens, of both inherited and beauty royalty have their rights to the crown debated on television screens, I wonder: who could challenge the titles I have? While “Queen” may be a title that is harder to reach for many of us, there are other more attainable titles that we acquire along the roads of life—such as the online labels we gain like blogger, techie, or maybe even hacker for the less scrupulous web surfers. Some of the titles on my list include college graduate as well as various job titles ranging from former Gap Greeter to Homeless Shelter Case Manager. These titles are branded on my permanent record for life. I also have the self-proclaimed title of The Island Shoe Girl; I wonder could another girl move onto my island and challenge my claim. I don’t believe that Donald Trump would bother himself with determining a winner in that debate.

There are also titles that have been given to us by others in addition to the standard nicknames given by parents, relatives, and high school friends that are generally cute and well intentioned. There are also the names that are cutting and hurtful, the ones generally not said to your face. I am sure I have been given a few less flattering titles since you cannot please everyone you meet. Talk to a former roommate or two and they would use some unkind words to describe me. But everyone gets these lesser titles whether we like it or not. These are the titles we must brush off in order to move on to claim new ones, with or without a public declaration.

So how do we get these titles and what do we do with the flattering and unflattering ones we find placed on us? I believe that the titles we gain and lose along the journeys of life are the truly determined by our own individual actions. Perhaps it is when we one day wake up to find new titles in place of our given names, when we become “Mommy” or “Daddy” or the authoritative “mama” or “sir.” Maybe it is when we realize the titles we strived for in our careers like “manager” or “director” have turned out not exactly what we expected them to mean and maybe not the ones we want to have in life. Knowing that titles change as we do—that we are our own individuals, unique and developing—so that a title of “little sister” can simply become “sister” allowing a new place in the family hierarchy.

While Royal families and the powers-to-be in American beauty pageant circuits may be able to apply and remove titles on a whim, the ones that count are the ones we choose to accept or decline on our own accord. Yes, those titles can be either good or bad, ranging from imperfect to workaholic to bleeding heart and, yes, perhaps even Island Shoe Girl. We get to decide what to do with those titles, not the outside forces. After all, at the end of the day, I earned that Island Shoe Girl tag and there is no one who can take that away from me—at least not without a couple hundred pairs of shoes.