These exotic Michael Kors were adopted from a mall and are now part of my shoe home. Photo by Jean Thornton
On a Sunday afternoon there is nothing I enjoy more than sitting with front door open, letting the Florida sunshine in while I check on my favorite website…UPS package tracking. Nothing is more exciting than watching my new Calvin Klein clutch travel across country to my doorstep. By the time this blog is posted I will be dangling that tiny treasure off my wrist as I bike to a local watering spot. But once I have cyber stalked all my incoming purchases I take a moment to check out what is happening in the world outside of Key West. Of course I go straight to ‘the’ sources—People, Star, Us Weekly—for all the latest information.
The latest headline seems like a repeat, however, “Insert Celebrity Name Here Adopting Orphan Baby from Insert Third World Country Here”. Celebrity adoption has been trendy ever since the Pharaohs’ daughter plucked Moses out of the Nile River and took him home to a life of luxury. Since then celebrities seeking the definitive statement in humanitarianism have been plucking babies out of third world orphanages left and right. I want to believe that the sentiment is true and really is an honest declaration of love for a child who has been cast into a difficult life. But I cannot help but wonder if these fast-tracked adoptions are really the equivalent of a celebrity wearing an AIDS ribbon to a star-studded award show in the 90s. Are these well-meaning celebs really just saying, “Hey, look at me lending my name to this cause by having my Nanny raise this orphan for me!”
Are we only steps away from a trendy Orphanage on Robertson Boulevard? Will I someday be able to pick up a pair of gladiator sandals at Kitson while placing my order for an orphan from Malawi and waiting for my table at The Ivy? Like I would be able to afford a baby from Robertson Boulevard! Call me crazy but isn’t adopting a child essentially the equivalent of having one minus the labor pains and cravings? Yet, at times it seems that Celebrity Adoption is more so the equivalent of an image reinvention, done more to “raise awareness” than to complete a family.
I realize that this sounds horribly harsh to say, but I question the validity of celebrity adoptions. I am huge supporter of adoption and definitely see the need to help the many children in our country and beyond who are in desperate need for appropriate care. My own family is blended with both adopted and biological children. The pieces of our family blend together to make as normal a family as possible. Considering what a normal family is these days, I can say all of us children are equally crazy. But adopting a child from a country that does not allow outside adoption or creating a menagerie of poor children of the world… remember when Heidi and Spencer said they wanted to do this? It was crazy then, and it’s crazy now when an A-list celebrity attempts it.
Trust me when I say adoption is wonderful, but it has to be done for the right reason. A child is never a solution or a missing link to a greater connection. A child can strengthen the values in our life, but it shouldn’t be used to promote those values to others. Children are real live breathing things that will one day speak and express their own emotions and thoughts. No parent—biological or adopted—should use their child as an extension of their political views or to spotlight a cause. I have to give credit to Oprah on this one for undergoing the difficult task of providing a school for many despite the numerous difficulties and criticisms this has brought her.
There have been many successful celebrity adoptions done in privacy and with the level of respect that the process of building a family deserves. I applaud these parents as much as the applaud the A-List star who lessens their workload and selects projects close to a stable home for their children. These are the true sacrifices of being a parent, putting the needs of the child over their own. To the next Hollywood star, who publicly pleas for privacy while announcing their desire to use their “good name” to draw attention to children in need: I ask you to consider the scenario of pictures of you giving birth printed in the tabloids… what’s the difference in you ushering a newly-adopted child through a storm of paparazzi out of an orphanage? Remember, a real live baby goes with that Louis Vuitton baby bag, so there is also a good chance that baby spit will have to match your outfit too.
Hi Stephanie. Great Blog! I really am enjoying what you write as well as how you write it and am wondering if I may borrow some of your work for my classes to read — either with or without your name attached. I think that if the kids in my sophomore classes see that everyday ideas can become extraordinary with the right treatment, they might get beyond their non-descriptive three sentence long (at best) paragraphs. I certainly could use professional sources, but the kids tend to see them as boring and irrelevant.
Do you ever get back to Ohio? I can’t see why you would — other than parents. My younger son is in Naples now. He is not enamored with it, yet, but he followed his little girl there when her mother moved from Dayton. As an artist in Naples, he sees quite a variety of people and situations, yet he is still struggling to make ends meet and gain the notoriety he deserves.
I am enjoying reading your blog.
Kathy McDougal