These heavenly LAMB shoes are guardian angels of the toes. Photo by Jean Thornton
I have a hard time letting go of shoes. When I was little, I once made my Mom retrieve a pair of shoes I had outgrown and she had passed onto a neighbor’s little girl. In all fairness, I had worn those shoes in my fashion show debut—they had historical relevance! Even a grown shoe girl with more than 120 pairs of heels wears out a set every now and the then, not to mention the occasional shoe catastrophe that leads to broken heels or straps. This leads to the inevitable death of a shoe and the difficult task of mourning and moving on.
As I glance over my shoes closet, I can see pairs that are losing their luster. Bows that once held stiff and proud now droop a little. And paten-leather shows its age with creases and wrinkles from the stress and strain that comes with being worn out. Sadly, there are no anti-wrinkle creams for stilettos and boots; trust me I have tried every Este Lauder lotion that guarantees overnight results. The truth of the mater is that no shoe stays new forever; all soles get scuffed and newer shoes come along every season.
Some shoes stay longer than others; some shoes have a more important a role in our lives leading to a more painful loss. I find myself avoiding the reality of a shoe death from time to time. Just the removal from the closet to under-the-bed storage makes me emotional. I feel like I am telling my shoes I don’t love them as much or that they have been replaced. I have been told by mothers of human children that you don’t have favorites; I think as a ‘shoe mother’ I understand this. Yes, some shoes may be more expensive or elicit more compliments, but in the end every shoe has a piece of my soul. But just like children, sometimes a shoe has to leave the nest… or shoe closet at some point.
I would never promote the idea of a shoe death panel, as that would sound just as silly as one in a national health care plan. But from time to time I have to weigh the pros, cons, and quality of shoe life left in my more worn-down heels. Walking around in shoes past their prime can cause more than just damage to a fashion image—it can cause physical damage. A worn-out stiletto literally caused my downfall and broken toe, and I can assure you retiring my orthopedic boot was not a difficult call at the end of it all!
So how do we know when a shoe has given us all the height and support it has to offer? It may show when we strut, but sometimes it’s a feeling too. No fashion magazine can truly sway me to give up a trendy shoe that I have lived with and loved. Yet, popular opinion encourages us to plan for the end of our time and the end of our loved one’s time. If only shoes came with a directive for how they would like to be laid to rest. How handy would those new Michael Kors’ stilettos be if they could indicate they are okay with being resoled or having a heel reattached but they do not want any replacement leather straps?
Reviving shoes past their prime and extraordinary measures aside, there comes a time when we must all say good-bye to a good sole. Even with a Living Will it is never easy, and despite my efforts I have yet to find a funeral home that will hold a tasteful farewell to these fallen heroes of the toes. Leaving the task of burial to me alone, it is not a job I enjoy and I drag it out as long as possible. If the shoes are on a closet shelf I first move them to the floor; I think of it like end of life care. Then I put them outside the closet in my ever-evolving pile of things to leave the house. Finally, I work up the nerve to do the dirty deed and take the final step of slipping them into the trash bag. Often I have to fight the urge to rip open the bag and dig out my beloved shoes from the mix of broken egg shells and old tea bags. I have to tell myself that those shoes are going to better place, at least figuratively because in reality they are just going to the county dump.
It’s true no new shoe can replace a good heel completely, just as no brown strappy sandal can be easily replaced with the next—not after everything that shoe has given you. And yes, there will be moments when you look back and say “if only that shoe were here, my outfit would be perfect!” While a new pump can fill the void in our shoe closet, in our hearts the pain of losing a familiar pair that has helped us stand strong may linger. Over time our mind focuses on only the best moments to remember and we choose to cherish the good times, forgetting any blisters.
