The Island Shoe Girl's Blog

Where shoes meet sand…

Men of Science vs. Women of Stilettos January 29, 2012

Filed under: Its All About the Shoes — theislandshoegirl @ 10:14 am
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Who needs science when you have stilettos? Photo by Jean Thornton

Sometimes I think men are just jealous of how strong women really are.  How else can you explain some men’s constant attacks on women’s footwear?  The most recent of these attacks came from two scientists whose recent research findings were published in the Journal of Applied Physiology.  These men of science say their research shows that women who wear heels for 40 hours or more a week moved with shorter, more forceful strides, and that stiletto strutting ladies’ feet were perpetually flexed in a toes pointed position.  These movements continue even when barefoot (okay, here is the first issue I have with this study—why are they taking off their shoes?) because the fibers in the calf muscles of shoe girls had shortened, thus putting much greater mechanical strain on their calf muscles than those women who had the poor taste to wear flat shoes. 

Men of Science, such as these researchers, might have a few x-rays, statistics, and charts on their side and perhaps some proven facts.  But as a Woman of Stiletto I cannot help but find fault with this study.  First of all, the designers did not study each woman in heels of varying heights.  I think it’s perfectly logical to assume that any woman who wears heels for 40 hours or more a week likely has a vast variety of shoes in many types of styles, heel heights, and support.  A Mary Jane pump might provide greater support than a strappy sandal.  A good shoe girl would recognize this and consider this when selecting shoes for the day.  Yes, many of us shoe girls will push ourselves to extreme for a cocktail party or evening out, but we generally have better sense when preparing for a busy day at the office.  It is logical to wear those more sensible Mary Jane Pumps when strutting up the street. 

Another problem I see with this study is that is was not done in a natural environment, but inside a laboratory instead.  Here the women were put through controlled tests, walking certain distances while having their every move (or lack their of) recorded with electrodes.  But Women of Stilettos do not simply walk back and forth in a laboratory!  We strut down the street with confidence and grace to a sound track in our mind.  Show me a girl wobbling in her heels, and I will show you a girl with no personal theme song playing.  This study also gave the Women of Stilettos a lack of purpose in their walk.  A woman with a destination and drive behind her walk is a woman on a clear mission.  She is moving not to go solely from one side of a room to another, but to go somewhere, to do something with her actions. 

But beyond these issues I see with how the research was conducted, and I offer another theory, which is this: Women of Stilettos are women of faith.  We climbed on top of something that should scientifically and logically not hold our weight.  No one would design a building with the logic of putting all the weight onto two tiny spokes.  Yet, women do it and have faith that we can hold ourselves up.  Women of Stilettos are women who believe that we will not fall down; even when we wobble a little we can self correct.  We see the world of cobble stone roads, loose gravel walkways, or grassy fields not as hindrances but just other challenges to overcome.  They are just another step that must be taken to move forward. That step might be shorter but they are forceful steps as the research of Men of Science shows. 

Men of Science might be able to measure how my toes point even when resting or that my calf muscles have been altered by my choice of shoes.  But as a Women of Stiletto I kind of have to shrug my shoulders and say, “so what” and simply keep on walking.  Because a Women of Stiletto does not stop long enough to hear what Men of Science have researched; we are too busy moving ahead.

 

Shoe Psychosis January 22, 2012

Filed under: Its All About the Shoes — theislandshoegirl @ 9:53 am
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Who wouldn't go crazy with shoes like these? Photo by Jean Thornton.

Ever see a pair of heels that make you say, “I want to put you on my feet and wear you now?”  I do—almost every time I see a pair of amazing heels.  If there is a Casedia sale on Ruelala.com all I can think is ‘I want to put you on my feet’.  When an email lands in my inbox boosting a shoe sale at Niemen Marcus Last Call, my toes curl with anticipation.  Heaven forbid if I find myself in the clearance room of a department store shoe section—I can turn into a real stiletto-psychopath.  Another shopper might politely ask if I am done with a pair of shoes and I have to edit my natural urge to explain I am not done with the entire rack and who said she could come in this room anyway!

It’s like I have OCD or OCSS (Obsessive Compulsive Shoe Shopping); I never ever get enough.  Most people reserve the phrase “took my breath away” for the first time they see a spouse or their child.  Me, I use it to describe how I feel when I am near designer shoes.   No matter how hard I try to control my desires, I find myself frequently out of control.  This is a realization I came to during the post-holiday season sales after calculating my total shoe intake in less then 3 weeks as 12 pairs.  Apparently this is more shoes than most people buy all year. 

I have no will power when I am faced with rows upon rows of stilettos, pumps, wedges, and sling-backs all calling my name from their cozy shoeboxes.  They beckon me to just try them on, no commitment, no promises to buy…just slip them on for a minute and see how they feel.  See how their arches feel against the bottom of my foot.  See how their leather straps wrap around my ankles.  See how they would complement every single piece of clothing that I own or could ever desire to own. 

These little shoe voices whisper softly in my ear, “oh we go together so well.”  And I am left breathless by how right those shoes are.  I am also frequently forced to live on a shoe string budget because of those same shoes… oh the irony of a girl who hates tennis shoes to be forced to live on a budget named after them!   Perhaps these little shoe voices could get me a diagnosis of shoe-schizophrenia.  But who would want a cure for an infliction that makes my toes look oh so good?

I might honestly have an unknown shoe psychosis that has yet to be acknowledged by the American Psychological Association or the Diagnostic Manual’s latest edition.  Treatment option could be limited; group therapy would probably only fuel my habits.  A group of women sitting around talking about shoes… yeah, that’s helping—especially if they are a similar shoe size.  I couldn’t face  treatment from a therapist with bad shoes. And electroshock therapy would likely only make my hair frizzy.  There might be prescription medications that could help control these urges, but what if they had unpleasant side effects like not wanting to buy shoes? 

Thus I find there is no hope for me except to continue to manage my illness the best way I know how.  With more shoes of course!  Some might say I am shoe crazy, but I wonder if maybe you are in a shoe depressive state of sorts.   Maybe the whole world is insane from lack of shoes and my fellow shoe lovers and I are the only truly “normal” ones. 

Okay, I am pushing it.  I can hear groans of disgust through your computer screens as you read this.  Luckily for me I let the voices of my shoes drown out the voices of my detractors.  So I seek comfort in my shoe closet where the voices say, “We are so glad you brought us home…you should go back to the store and get a few more of our friends.”

 

No Reality January 15, 2012

Filed under: Its All About the Shoes — theislandshoegirl @ 9:10 am
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A shoe girl lost in reality. Photo by Jean Thornton

Over drinks with a friend, the conversation somehow wandered to the topic of the reality TV show The Amazing Race.  My friend commented that she thought it would be so fun for her and I to be on the show together.  I was about to counter that that my idea of a trip around the world involved several luxury hotels and far more luggage than one backpack’s worth.  Before I could speak, my friend stated the obvious, “you couldn’t do that; they wouldn’t let you wear heels.”   For a brief moment I did think of scaling the pyramids in a pair of Michael Kors’ wedges….before thinking I would much rather scale the escalator at Bergdorf Goodman’s. 

My friend was speaking the truth of course.  I am not a girl who easily gives up her heels; just ask my poor foot doctor who has had to twice force my broken foot into an orthopedic boot.  So thoughts of seeing the Seven Wonders of the World without my standard six-inch stilettos just might the eighth wonder.  Yet the more I thought about it, the more I realized The Amazing Race is not the only reality show I am disqualified from.  In fact, I cannot find one that would welcome a shoe girl like me.

If The Amazing Race is out, then Survivor is most definitely a pipe dream.   Each season generally starts with the contestants jumping off a boat or being dropped randomly in the wild.  Then trudging through jungle or swimming for dear life to make what they call “camp,” I am not sure what “camp” is or why I would want to “make” it, but I hear it lacks a walk-in closet.  Besides, I don’t like to take my shoes anywhere a GPS system cannot find. Sorry—if Tom-Tom doesn’t go there, neither do I.

A few of my married friends might hope to marry me off and perhaps The Bachelor just might be the reality show for that.  Yet, the thought sharing a house with 30 women just plain terrifies me.  No, it’s not the thought of sharing a bathroom or failing to land a “solo date”…FYI ladies, ALL dates should be “solo dates!”  But the worry that the band of skanks that regularly appear on this show might pilfer my shoes?  Sorry, no rose, ring or slightly damaged bachelor is worth the risk of another contestant stretching out my Jimmy Choos.

Fortunately, I do not qualify for such MTV reality shows like The Real World because I actually live in THE real world where people actually pay rent.  And because my parents were smart enough to let me take sex education in high school and I was smart enough to take notes, I have missed my chance to be on Teen Mom.   As a side note to the Teen Mom stars, if you are too embarrassed to buy a condom, you should be too embarrassed to have the consequences on TV.  Of course, since my skin tone is a normal color and not baked by UV rays, Jersey Shore is out.  And because I can spell both Jersey and Shore I am also eliminated from casting. 

I would keep my fingers crossed for a spot on The Real Housewives, if the franchise ever moved to Key West as perhaps my shoes would be safe on that show.  Due to my ability to drink extreme amounts of wine and live beyond my means, I would think this would be the perfect place for my shoes and me on Reality TV.  However, since I have a real job that would not allow for 3 hour long lunches to keep up with the busy Botox schedule and wine drinking in the middle of the day, once again I am out.   It’s such a shame because I would be a really great guest on Andy Cohen’s Clubhouse—Mazel, Andy!

So alas, out of reality I must stay…at least out of Reality TV.  There might be people out there who would be interested in seeing an everyday girl in extraordinary shoes face real realities like trying to finish the monthly reports on time, pumping her own gas, cleaning her own toilet and walking the dog.  They might be fascinated at all the amazing things I do like pay my bills and not be followed around by cameras and boom microphones.  These people, however, are most likely busy being “Reality” TV and thus have no time for reality.

Until the day when the tables turn and true reality becomes the NEW reality, I will just keep dreaming up my show.  Hey, what about a reality where a shoe girl spend hours organizing her shoe closet and trying on designer heels?  Sounds fascinating to me!

 

Good Friends, Good Shoes January 8, 2012

Filed under: Common Sense in Unsensible Shoes — theislandshoegirl @ 10:52 am
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A girl can never have too many shoes or too many friends. Photo by Jean Thornton

I had a realization this week: good shoes are like good friends in many ways.  This did not come about because I met a new friend with the exact same foot size plus a shoe collection twice as large as mine, which she likes to lend out.  Actually, this thought came about starting with a meeting.  I am a member of a social sorority; we meet once a month, have a variety of social outings, and hold a fundraiser for local charities each year.  And yes, we drink a fair amount of wine. 

This month’s meeting was only two days away when I realized no one had sent out the email reminder saying who was hosting.  I suspected everyone was busy and had forgotten the meeting, perhaps being busy with the end of the holidays.  So I decided I would invite the ladies to my condo thinking that not many would be able to attend.

Now let me explain that my apartment is not a huge; it’s mostly shoe closet.  Okay, so that is an exaggeration…but it won’t be featured in a 6-page spread in Better Homes & Gardens.  It would need maybe 2 pages to cover it.   Nonetheless, I wrote out a quick email while on my 4th glass of red wine and hit send.  Very quickly, my sorority sisters began responding with positive RSVPs.  In no time, I was hosting more guests than I had thought I would. 

After quick vacuuming, dusting off the diplomas (girls gotta look smart and clean), and flipping over the bath mats I was ready to host!  Martha Stewart I am not.  My sorority sisters arrived and my apartment began filling up.  However, with each new guest, my apartment did not shrink but seemed to get a little bigger to let each person in.  I would daresay that even more could have fit in.

Once the evening came to an end and I had said goodbye to my last friend, I went to put my shoes in their place in my shoe closet.  I realized that there always seemed to be a place available for each pair of shoes I find.  Just like the apartment the shoe closet was in, there always seems to be a little more space.

Which is how I came to the idea that good shoes are like good friends in that you can really never have too many.  Sure you could argue that you can only wear one pair of shoes at time, but I can certainly admire many different pairs of shoes at once. Personally, I think that my shoes share a bond between one another and enjoy each other’s company.

And just like friends, you have different shoes for different events and situations.  Some shoes are great for dancing; others for walking, just like some friends are great for having a drink with at the end of long day and others you can call on when you need a cup of sugar.  Some friends are life-long friends just as some shoes are classics that you cherish for life while others shoes are seasonal.  There are friends who make you feel very comfortable, like a pair of Manolo Blahnik’s, while other friends take you to new heights like a pair of six-inch stilettos.

The best part about both good shoes and good friends is that you truly never have enough.  And even when you don’t wear your shoes everyday, it is always good to put them on again.  Like a phone call to catch up with an old friend or friendly letter, you always cherish knowing they are there for you.  And truly, both friends and shoes are invaluable. 

So as this New Year begins, I resolve to appreciate both the good shoes and the good friends—and to welcome both into my home. Hopefully they will all feel welcome anytime.  Luckily, this resolution comes just in time for the After-holiday Sales… because there’s always room for more shoes in my shoe closet and more friends in my home.

 

Stiletto & Croc of the Week January 6, 2012

Filed under: Stiletto & Croc of the Week — theislandshoegirl @ 4:42 pm

The Stiletto of the week after Christmas Sales!  Oh yeah its that time of year when everything is on clearance.  So no one got you those Prada pumps you really wanted and Santa forgot that you desperately needed a new clutch.  Well, here is your chance to fix all of those oversights.  Forget about stuffing stockings and decking the halls, stuff that shoe closet and decorate yourself!

The Croc of the week has to go to the Republican Primaries.  Since only a handful of states are actually voting on this field of candidates why must the whole country suffer through all of the press time dedicated to them.  How many small coffee shops doesIowahave any way? You can’t turn on a news broadcast without some reporter chatting with about the future ofAmericawith a guy who sits around in coffee shop all day.  Thank goodness Lifetime Network is back to showing Project Runway All Stars.  There’s a contest I can get behind.

 

Occupy Shoes January 1, 2012

Filed under: Its All About the Shoes — theislandshoegirl @ 2:43 pm
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Nobody better try to protest these shoes. Photo by Jean Thornton.

I had a terrifying thought the other day and it has caused me some great concern.  Now I am not one to push a political agenda on this blog unless that agenda has to do with banning Uggs.  I believe that a ballot box is where those issues most belong and if you don’t have the time to vote, I don’t have the time to listen to you.  But I have to admit that I am one to voice an opinion when requested or amongst friends. 

However, my fear has to do with The Occupy Movement.  See, I had a brief flash of terror when I thought this movement might spread to my shoe closet.  I figure I just might be in the 1% of shoe owners (please note that this is the only 1% I am in) and what if the other 99% of shoe owners decide that they should have some of my shoes?  Could the other 99% of shoe owners see my shoe collection as an unequal distribution of shoes?

If Occupy Shoes continues to gain momentum I might wake up one day to find protestors occupying my shoe closet.  They might be marching around carrying signs that read “We are the 99% who wear flat shoes.”  A group wearing Birkenstock sandals might set up a drum circle near my designer heels, while another cluster begins one of those annoying chants where everyone repeats what the leader says. 

Having a group of protestors in my shoe closet would surely drive my dog crazy, not to mention put a serious strain on the one bathroom in my apartment.  My landlord might not be too happy either as the extra traffic could cause unintentional damage.  Plus my apartment is a place where you can relax quietly, read a book, or perhaps toss a tennis ball to my dog.  I would likely have to remove the Occupy Shoes protestors; of course I am not violent but I might have to spray Febreze on them to get them out.  I am sure that somewhere along the way I will have to give a press conference explaining that, while I support everyone’s right to shoes, blocking my right to shoes is not the way to go about it. 

I of course believe everyone has a right to shoes, I don’t think that in our society, which is so shoe rich, that anybody should be barefoot.  Yet at the same time I have to point out that I paid for all of my shoes.  I worked many hours for my shoe collection, sometimes working two jobs just to get a pair of Manolo Blahnik’s. I was not born with a silver shoe on my feet.  My parents did not own a shoe store which I had unending access to; I only had hard work to get my feet in shoes.  So why all the sudden am I supposed to share my shoe wealth with others who perhaps have never worked a 12 hour shift just to buy Prada pumps?

Yes, I understand that very little in life is free (except living in a park apparently) and it can be expected that a person might gather some financial baggage along the way.  While financial baggage might not be as cute a Kate Spade tote, it does not mean you don’t have carry it.  If you earned a college degree you cannot cry foul if that degree does not come with a six figure salary that makes your student loans magically disappear in a year.  And if you earned a college degree in something that does not have a corresponding career field, may I suggest looking into a wait service job in the meantime.  I am sure you are working on the great American novel, but until then you can recite the specials.   

I don’t mean to sound harsh and uncaring.  I do care. I care a lot which is why I work at a job where I actually get to the change my community and the lives of others.  I do this by helping people find work, teaching them how to budget and manage their money, and hopefully they will be prepared for the hard times ahead.  And I hope that they will be able to buy as many shoes as they can afford to.  Those that I help might not be able to make it into the top 1%, but they surely will not stay in the bottom 1%.

Dear Occupy Movement, please do not occupy my shoe closet.  I might be in the top 1% of shoes but I got here the old fashioned way… a lot of hard work and waiting patiently to earn to earn my shoes.  And if you still think you should occupy my shoe closet a word of caution: I have been wearing heels my entire life and I can stand in stilettos much longer than you can.

 

 
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