The Island Shoe Girl's Blog

Where shoes meet sand…

Bocce—A Sport for Shoe Girls May 28, 2012

Filed under: Its All About the Shoes — theislandshoegirl @ 1:55 pm
Tags: , , , , ,

Shoes approved for Bocce play. Photo by Jean Thornton

You might not know this about the Island Shoe Girl, but I am actually an athlete of sorts.  Okay, so maybe calling me an athlete is a bit of stretch.  I do, however, belong on an organized team which plays in an organized league—there are even playoffs and I believe some type of trophy.   The sport which has embraced my need to wear elevated shoes and allows me to consume a fair amount of wine is bocce. 

Believe it or not, Bocce is alive and well in Key West, Florida.  In fact, I think it is one of the most treasured sports in Key West.  This could be largely due to the fact that it allows its players to drink and it requires little physical effort.  Thus age and physique can both be ignored on this court.  There are few who really put their whole self into it; I have never been one for falling in the dirt, so I keep my rolling more controlled. 

Perhaps so many in Key West like bocce because it’s a sport that seems to embrace anyone.  After all, this is a sport that allows me to play in wedges; as long as my heels do not puncture the court, it is fair game.  My shoes might even help me a little. If nothing else, they create a distraction to those I am playing against, and occasionally they are used to measure the distance between balls. 

It is also a game that has allowed one of the most un-athletic people in the world to be a part of a team.  I have never been a ‘desired’ teammate—which I find strange because I always wear a cute outfit and have nicely manicured nails whenever taking part in a sporting event.  Maybe it’s my declaration that I must wear at least 3-inch heels at all times in my life.  For whatever reason, I have always been an undesirable addition to a team all the way back to my gym class days, but somehow on the bocce court my quirks make me a valuable player. 

By no means would I put the word “most” in front of that valuable player title, but nonetheless I bring something to my team.  And on occasion I have even helped claim victory…of course I have helped claim loses too.  Yet, my team generally forgives me as I forgive them when a ball seems to magically roll the opposite direction of where it was intended.   Because at the end of a game it’s not always about winning, although it’s really nice to win, it’s more about enjoying the people around you. 

Yes, Virginia, there is sport for shoe girls, even shoe girls who refuse to take their shoes off.  I am not sure I will ever go down in the bocce history books as one of the greatest to ever toss a pallina.  But I just might go down in the history of the Southernmost Bocce League for tossing a pallina in heels.  And let’s face it, the best history books are the ones written by your friends. 

 

 

12 Steps to Being an Enlightened Shoe Girl April 29, 2012

Filed under: Its All About the Shoes — theislandshoegirl @ 11:19 am
Tags: , , , ,

12 simple steps can lead you to place of shoe zen. Photo by Jean Thornton

1. Admit we were powerless over shoes- that our shoe closets have become unmanageable.  This is step that should not be feared but celebrated.   A weight will be lifted off your shoulders and a spring will re-appear in your step because now you have accepted that shoes control your life, and hey, it’s not your fault because you are powerless under their influence.  Embrace your personal weakness and let it be to the benefit of your feet.  Reorganize your shoe closet; this time without the shame that says you should hide your bounty of shoes but instead with says cherish them all.

2. Come to believe that a power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity.  That’s right—there’s a higher shoe power I like to call it the Sak’s Fifth Avenue shoe department.  As far as the eye can see it’s all shoes—so big it has its own zip code.  It is the perfect place to reflect and restore your inner peace while at the same time admiring the way your ankles look into those new Sergio Rossi’s!  It may be called a “shoe section” by others, but to me it’s a Zen Garden filled with sparkling buckles and gems adorning both pointed and rounded-toe pumps.

3. Make a decision to turn shoes over to the care of our higher shoe power, as we understand it.  In life it seems we always want to question what we are given.  In this step it is time to stop wondering if we are supposed to click on that Bluefly sale banner and trust that our higher shoe power wants us to.  It is not our job to question why we get the personal email invites to shop or if the sale is good enough.  It is our job to accept that sale as a gift and what our higher shoe power really wants us to do. 

4. Make a searching and fearless inventory of our shoes.  Get into the depths of your shoe closet and make an inventory of what is truly in there.  Rediscover shoes that have drifted to the back and reintroduce them to your rotation.  Hey, maybe those Cole Hann’s you bought for that wedding two years ago are the perfect partner for that new Kate Spade handbag!  For the thrifty shoe shopper, sometimes the best deals are the ones we find in our closets (or that of our friends).

5. Admit to our higher shoe power, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our shoe wrongs.  This is the hard one.  It’s time to admit that time you wore those Crocs out in public.  And while you are at it, confess to those times you did not treat your shoes with the respect they deserve.  Oh sure you were so tired you could not put your Jimmy Choos back their sleep bag… enough excuses! 

6. We’re entirely ready to remove all these defects of shoe character.  Open yourself up to make a real change in your life and remove those bad shoe habits from your future.  Let your mind be free from judgments about shoe designers who have left you flat in the past.  Some day in the future that same designer may just release a fabulous selection of wedges. 

7. Humbly ask to remove our shoe shortcomings.  This is hard and I am not sure it works because I have been praying for my foot to be the perfect size 6 for years but my big toes have not yet started to shrink. 

8. Make a list of all persons we have allowed to wear bad shoes, and become willing to make amends to them all.  We all have that person in our life who does not shoe as well as we do.  Perhaps we have tried to reach out; perhaps we have kept these concerns to ourselves.  Regardless, now is the time to right these shoe wrongs by helping them right their bad shoes.  As long and as difficult as it may be, it is time to teach those who shoe bad how to shoe good. 

9. Make direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.  Talking about shoes is always fun, even if the person listening does not know that.  But if you keep reminding them about how great shoes are, sooner or later they will get it.  The only time you should not help someone to shoe better is if they have a medical condition.  For example, my grandmother has bad knees and foot problems, so it is okay to excuse her sneakers.  (Plus, I have seen some photographs of her in her younger days and I definitely get a little bit of my shoe streak from her!)

10. Continue to take a personal shoe inventories and when we shoe wrong promptly admit it.  Now that our lives and our shoe closets are in order, keep that organization in your life.  When you make a bad shoe choice, admit it and grow from your mistakes.  It really is the only way to become a better shoe girl.  Perfection is a something we have to constantly strive for, and once one shoe goal is met, set another to keep yourself moving forward. 

11. Seek through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with our higher shoe power—and our favorite shoe salesclerk, praying for knowledge of insider sales and the latest trends that will give us the will and the power to carry out our shoe purpose in life.  Only when we open our minds and we free our inner shoe detective can we embrace the glory of shoes.  A good shoe girl loves a good deal and to be on top of the latest shoe trend… especially when that means being on top of 5-inch heels! 

12. Having had a spiritual shoe awakening as the result of these steps, we now carry this message to others and to practice these principles in all our shoe affairs.   You have let your inner shoe spirit out.  No longer are you someone who focuses solely on your own shoes—you are now someone who shares the message of shoe enlightenment.  Take this message to the masses and carry your wisdom far and wide… if you can carry it in a cute Marc Jacobs tote.

 

Forgive Me, Father, for I Have Stilettoed April 1, 2012

Filed under: Its All About the Shoes — theislandshoegirl @ 8:32 am

Is it better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission when it comes to stilettos? Photo by Jean Thornton

A friend was recently in New York City and discovered a trifecta suited for this Island Shoe Girl.  Creating a nice little triangle were Sak’s Fifth Avenue, Michael Kors, and St. Patrick’s Cathedral.  She pointed out that I could easily run between the three, first shopping and then asking forgiveness for my shoe sins.  Of course I am not sure the penance would go well as I would likely be in love with another pair of stilettos before I could finish a Hail Mary, let alone a full Rosary. 

Let’s hope the Virgin Mother loved a good strappy heel as much as the rest of us; she might be able to put in a good word for me.  But, alas, I am afraid that gluttony is one deadly sin a shoe girl like me cannot avoid.  So while I am begging forgiveness I might as well give into envy, greed, and lust while I gaze across a designer shoe section.  Thank God there isn’t a martini bar on that street; then I would surely be doomed! 

Even if you are not a shoe girl, surely every one of us has felt some sting of guilt over our passions.  It could be the NFL game that you choose over Sunday mass.  Or maybe it’s that extra glass of wine…okay, bottle…that leaves you sleeping a little late.  The extra money you spent on a new evening bag as opposed to giving to the Sunday offering plate.  That darn nagging voice that continues to whisper in your ear when indulging perhaps just a little too much and depriving a just little too little. 

And as loud as those fabulous heels might tap and click as you strut, they can seldom drown out that inner voice reminding you that perhaps you have over-justified your budget for self-indulgence.  So what is a shoe girl to do when faced with the choice of heavenly shoes versus heavenly rules? 

I have always been a firm believer that the taller the stiletto the closer to Jesus.  And there must be a heaven as evidenced by the way a pair Manolo Blahniks’ make me float on little clouds.  I can almost hear angels sing when I feel the fine-crafted leather of a designer handbag sliding against my arm.  So is it really wrong to desire such things?  Am I only enjoying God’s handy work when I walk on such perfect soles?  Aren’t I just embracing God’s perfect vision when I wear Chanel?

Okay, so maybe I am pushing my luck a little.  But thus far I have not been struck by lightning, so I figure I might not have angered the big guy too much.  Perhaps the key is just moderation—with the definition of moderation to be determined at a later time.  Maybe the better answer is not just moderation but gratitude, which is why I believe that far more important than praying for shoe forgiveness is shoe tithing.  If for every shoe I get to indulge, I give back a portion to those without, maybe my shoe addiction is not so bad after all. 

Yes, one day I might have some explaining to do outside the pearly gates.  I can only hope that my prayers of forgiveness have been heard and considered…and if St. Peter needs a little convincing a pair of cute shoes might do the trick.

 

Let Them Wear Flats March 11, 2012

Filed under: Its All About the Shoes — theislandshoegirl @ 10:58 am
Tags: , , , ,

Not everyone wants to live in stilettos, but that just leaves more for everyone else. Photo by Jean Thornton

Lately, it seems like no one can let anyone else have his or her own opinions.  It’s not just that you have your own opinion and someone with a differing opinion says, “Oh, okay that’s nice” and then goes along with their day—or even just offers a respectful reply that states a differing view point without attacking.  But, no! Instead, the disagreeing person has to attack the speaker with the differing opinion, not based on any inaccuracies in their statements, but with horrific personal attacks that have little to nothing to do with the original issue.

So I would like to shed some light on how to be a polite adult when dealing with someone you do not see eye-to-eye with.  It’s a well-known fact that I am a bit of high heel fanatic.  I prefer a good five inches beneath me on a daily basis.  I think a day without towering heels is like a night sky without stars; sure you can still look up, but what is there to see without a little sparkle?  My legs are permanently altered by my love of high heels; my foot doctor is basically convinced I can never wear flat shoes again without doing actual physical harm to myself.  While this might cause some concerns for those not so enthusiastic about stilettos, I look it as a huge achievement…not to mention it might keep me from ever having to participate in any forced physical labor. 

Nonetheless I do not attack those who do not share my desire to see the world from atop of stilettos.  Sure, I might not like when others wear flats.  I might think to myself that a girl in flip- flops and a sundress could improve her style with a cute kitten heel or perhaps a strappy wedge…okay so sometimes I do tell the flip-flop wearer.  But what is important is that I do not attack that flip-flop wearer I try to educate them to my point of view.  At no time do I find an urge to call the flip-flop wearer a slut or prostitute.  I do not tell that flip-flop wearer I think she is cheap because those flops came from a store that ended with a “mart.” Or that the slabs of plastic she calls footwear were made in foreign country and therefore she must be a traitor. 

Yes, I may know that wearing flat shoes will do nothing to improve either the appearance of the wearers’ butts or their posture that naturally comes with wearing heels.  However, I do not criticize their butts because slamming someone’s physical traits is something a small child, mean high school girl, or bitter housewife might do.  A mature adult would simply present his/her side of the issue and let it go at that—just like a mature adult would say goodnight to her heels every night. So I say, “Let them wear flats!” Because if wearing flats makes you personally happy and at the end of the day it does not affect my own personal happiness and right to wear high heels, then what does it really matter?

After all, with all of the larger issues in the world to be upset about, and with all of the truly bad things happening out there, is it really worth getting upset just because I might choose to live differently than someone else.  If at the end of the day I can at least see the other side of another person’s point of view and they can see mine, aren’t we both the bigger person?  And one of us might even be the taller for it. 

So yes! Let them wear flats! And leave the stilettos for me.

 

10 Things I Want to Say to Shoe Girls February 9, 2012

Filed under: Its All About the Shoes — theislandshoegirl @ 1:53 pm

A few lessons for the young shoe girl! Photo by Jean Thornton

1.  Keep it Covered Up

Sometimes we are tempted to dress in tight, provocative clothing—also known as dressing like a slut.  If you are revealing more than 80% of your skin and you are not a beach or a pool, you are most likely dressing like a slut.   You may not understand this now, but someday you will: skin is very important and should not always be out in the open.  Your skin is not made of rubber.  There are many things that will not bounce off it, including harmful rays from the sun and lurking eyes from men. 

2.  High Heels Can Wait

I love high heels; they are all I wear.   But I waited for my high heels and I am very glad I did.  There is a limited amount of time in life where you can just be silly all day long.  You can laugh until you fall out of your chair; you can chase your friends; and you can fall down and get back up without medical help.  But trying to do these things in high heels will only lead to a broken ankle.  Trust me, the world is not running out of stilettos anytime soon; a shoe girl like me would never allow it. 

3.  Just Be Your Age

There will be two phases in your life when you won’t want to look your age.  One is when you are too young to do anything and you will hope to pass yourself off as older.  This might be to get into R-rated movies, get into bars, or to perhaps pass yourself off as a college girl while still actually a high school girl.  The sad twisted truth is that once you get to an age where you are old enough to do all this stuff, you will want to look younger.   In either phase you will spend lots of money and time trying to convince other people you are something you are not. 

4.  You Will Do Stupid Things

Everyone does and anyone who denies this is only doomed to do more stupid things.  What is important is not the stupid things you do, but the way you handle the realization that they were stupid.  A little bit of humility will go a long way and may even give you a little bit of grace. 

5.  Neon Shades of Make-up Do Not Look Good On Anyone

Green eyelashes, bright blue eyebrows and yellow lips are not cute.  If you feel an extreme need to try it, Halloween is your one free pass.

6.  Dress for Elegance Not Sex

Grace Kelly, Jackie Kennedy, and Audrey Hepburn are icons because they kept clothes on.  They are called “classic beauties” because they had classic styles.  Trendy and slutty both end in y for a reason.

7.  Do Not Ask Your Parents to Buy You Expensive Stuff

Someday you will buy your own Jimmy Choos, Manolo Blahniks, Prada, and Gucci.  And when you do, you will be all the more proud of it.  Don’t bug your parents for expensive shoes or any other pricey item.  They gave you life, housing, and most likely are feeding you.  That’s enough.  

8.  Size is a Number

In your life you will be many sizes; do not try to hold yourself to one size.  Let your body be healthy even if that makes you a size 6 instead of a 2.  And remember each store is a little different so one store’s 4 may be another store’s 8.  That’s okay; you will always look better in clothing that fits no matter what number is inside it. 

9. Never Be Too Big For Your Own Stilettos

No matter how pretty you are, how rich you are, or how mature you think you are—never be too cool to try something new.  There will be a time when you look back and think about what you should have done.  Whether that takes an hour or a day all depends on your own choices. 

10.  Trends and Style Seldom Happen On A Runway

Good fashion ideas do not drop only into the minds of designers.  Good fashion happens in every day moments to everyday people.  Life and the people who live it have been inspiring runway looks for years.  Be yourself and you will be the most stylish person in the room. 

 

 

 

Men of Science vs. Women of Stilettos January 29, 2012

Filed under: Its All About the Shoes — theislandshoegirl @ 10:14 am
Tags: , , , ,

Who needs science when you have stilettos? Photo by Jean Thornton

Sometimes I think men are just jealous of how strong women really are.  How else can you explain some men’s constant attacks on women’s footwear?  The most recent of these attacks came from two scientists whose recent research findings were published in the Journal of Applied Physiology.  These men of science say their research shows that women who wear heels for 40 hours or more a week moved with shorter, more forceful strides, and that stiletto strutting ladies’ feet were perpetually flexed in a toes pointed position.  These movements continue even when barefoot (okay, here is the first issue I have with this study—why are they taking off their shoes?) because the fibers in the calf muscles of shoe girls had shortened, thus putting much greater mechanical strain on their calf muscles than those women who had the poor taste to wear flat shoes. 

Men of Science, such as these researchers, might have a few x-rays, statistics, and charts on their side and perhaps some proven facts.  But as a Woman of Stiletto I cannot help but find fault with this study.  First of all, the designers did not study each woman in heels of varying heights.  I think it’s perfectly logical to assume that any woman who wears heels for 40 hours or more a week likely has a vast variety of shoes in many types of styles, heel heights, and support.  A Mary Jane pump might provide greater support than a strappy sandal.  A good shoe girl would recognize this and consider this when selecting shoes for the day.  Yes, many of us shoe girls will push ourselves to extreme for a cocktail party or evening out, but we generally have better sense when preparing for a busy day at the office.  It is logical to wear those more sensible Mary Jane Pumps when strutting up the street. 

Another problem I see with this study is that is was not done in a natural environment, but inside a laboratory instead.  Here the women were put through controlled tests, walking certain distances while having their every move (or lack their of) recorded with electrodes.  But Women of Stilettos do not simply walk back and forth in a laboratory!  We strut down the street with confidence and grace to a sound track in our mind.  Show me a girl wobbling in her heels, and I will show you a girl with no personal theme song playing.  This study also gave the Women of Stilettos a lack of purpose in their walk.  A woman with a destination and drive behind her walk is a woman on a clear mission.  She is moving not to go solely from one side of a room to another, but to go somewhere, to do something with her actions. 

But beyond these issues I see with how the research was conducted, and I offer another theory, which is this: Women of Stilettos are women of faith.  We climbed on top of something that should scientifically and logically not hold our weight.  No one would design a building with the logic of putting all the weight onto two tiny spokes.  Yet, women do it and have faith that we can hold ourselves up.  Women of Stilettos are women who believe that we will not fall down; even when we wobble a little we can self correct.  We see the world of cobble stone roads, loose gravel walkways, or grassy fields not as hindrances but just other challenges to overcome.  They are just another step that must be taken to move forward. That step might be shorter but they are forceful steps as the research of Men of Science shows. 

Men of Science might be able to measure how my toes point even when resting or that my calf muscles have been altered by my choice of shoes.  But as a Women of Stiletto I kind of have to shrug my shoulders and say, “so what” and simply keep on walking.  Because a Women of Stiletto does not stop long enough to hear what Men of Science have researched; we are too busy moving ahead.

 

Shoe Psychosis January 22, 2012

Filed under: Its All About the Shoes — theislandshoegirl @ 9:53 am
Tags: , , , , ,

Who wouldn't go crazy with shoes like these? Photo by Jean Thornton.

Ever see a pair of heels that make you say, “I want to put you on my feet and wear you now?”  I do—almost every time I see a pair of amazing heels.  If there is a Casedia sale on Ruelala.com all I can think is ‘I want to put you on my feet’.  When an email lands in my inbox boosting a shoe sale at Niemen Marcus Last Call, my toes curl with anticipation.  Heaven forbid if I find myself in the clearance room of a department store shoe section—I can turn into a real stiletto-psychopath.  Another shopper might politely ask if I am done with a pair of shoes and I have to edit my natural urge to explain I am not done with the entire rack and who said she could come in this room anyway!

It’s like I have OCD or OCSS (Obsessive Compulsive Shoe Shopping); I never ever get enough.  Most people reserve the phrase “took my breath away” for the first time they see a spouse or their child.  Me, I use it to describe how I feel when I am near designer shoes.   No matter how hard I try to control my desires, I find myself frequently out of control.  This is a realization I came to during the post-holiday season sales after calculating my total shoe intake in less then 3 weeks as 12 pairs.  Apparently this is more shoes than most people buy all year. 

I have no will power when I am faced with rows upon rows of stilettos, pumps, wedges, and sling-backs all calling my name from their cozy shoeboxes.  They beckon me to just try them on, no commitment, no promises to buy…just slip them on for a minute and see how they feel.  See how their arches feel against the bottom of my foot.  See how their leather straps wrap around my ankles.  See how they would complement every single piece of clothing that I own or could ever desire to own. 

These little shoe voices whisper softly in my ear, “oh we go together so well.”  And I am left breathless by how right those shoes are.  I am also frequently forced to live on a shoe string budget because of those same shoes… oh the irony of a girl who hates tennis shoes to be forced to live on a budget named after them!   Perhaps these little shoe voices could get me a diagnosis of shoe-schizophrenia.  But who would want a cure for an infliction that makes my toes look oh so good?

I might honestly have an unknown shoe psychosis that has yet to be acknowledged by the American Psychological Association or the Diagnostic Manual’s latest edition.  Treatment option could be limited; group therapy would probably only fuel my habits.  A group of women sitting around talking about shoes… yeah, that’s helping—especially if they are a similar shoe size.  I couldn’t face  treatment from a therapist with bad shoes. And electroshock therapy would likely only make my hair frizzy.  There might be prescription medications that could help control these urges, but what if they had unpleasant side effects like not wanting to buy shoes? 

Thus I find there is no hope for me except to continue to manage my illness the best way I know how.  With more shoes of course!  Some might say I am shoe crazy, but I wonder if maybe you are in a shoe depressive state of sorts.   Maybe the whole world is insane from lack of shoes and my fellow shoe lovers and I are the only truly “normal” ones. 

Okay, I am pushing it.  I can hear groans of disgust through your computer screens as you read this.  Luckily for me I let the voices of my shoes drown out the voices of my detractors.  So I seek comfort in my shoe closet where the voices say, “We are so glad you brought us home…you should go back to the store and get a few more of our friends.”

 

No Reality January 15, 2012

Filed under: Its All About the Shoes — theislandshoegirl @ 9:10 am
Tags: , , , ,

A shoe girl lost in reality. Photo by Jean Thornton

Over drinks with a friend, the conversation somehow wandered to the topic of the reality TV show The Amazing Race.  My friend commented that she thought it would be so fun for her and I to be on the show together.  I was about to counter that that my idea of a trip around the world involved several luxury hotels and far more luggage than one backpack’s worth.  Before I could speak, my friend stated the obvious, “you couldn’t do that; they wouldn’t let you wear heels.”   For a brief moment I did think of scaling the pyramids in a pair of Michael Kors’ wedges….before thinking I would much rather scale the escalator at Bergdorf Goodman’s. 

My friend was speaking the truth of course.  I am not a girl who easily gives up her heels; just ask my poor foot doctor who has had to twice force my broken foot into an orthopedic boot.  So thoughts of seeing the Seven Wonders of the World without my standard six-inch stilettos just might the eighth wonder.  Yet the more I thought about it, the more I realized The Amazing Race is not the only reality show I am disqualified from.  In fact, I cannot find one that would welcome a shoe girl like me.

If The Amazing Race is out, then Survivor is most definitely a pipe dream.   Each season generally starts with the contestants jumping off a boat or being dropped randomly in the wild.  Then trudging through jungle or swimming for dear life to make what they call “camp,” I am not sure what “camp” is or why I would want to “make” it, but I hear it lacks a walk-in closet.  Besides, I don’t like to take my shoes anywhere a GPS system cannot find. Sorry—if Tom-Tom doesn’t go there, neither do I.

A few of my married friends might hope to marry me off and perhaps The Bachelor just might be the reality show for that.  Yet, the thought sharing a house with 30 women just plain terrifies me.  No, it’s not the thought of sharing a bathroom or failing to land a “solo date”…FYI ladies, ALL dates should be “solo dates!”  But the worry that the band of skanks that regularly appear on this show might pilfer my shoes?  Sorry, no rose, ring or slightly damaged bachelor is worth the risk of another contestant stretching out my Jimmy Choos.

Fortunately, I do not qualify for such MTV reality shows like The Real World because I actually live in THE real world where people actually pay rent.  And because my parents were smart enough to let me take sex education in high school and I was smart enough to take notes, I have missed my chance to be on Teen Mom.   As a side note to the Teen Mom stars, if you are too embarrassed to buy a condom, you should be too embarrassed to have the consequences on TV.  Of course, since my skin tone is a normal color and not baked by UV rays, Jersey Shore is out.  And because I can spell both Jersey and Shore I am also eliminated from casting. 

I would keep my fingers crossed for a spot on The Real Housewives, if the franchise ever moved to Key West as perhaps my shoes would be safe on that show.  Due to my ability to drink extreme amounts of wine and live beyond my means, I would think this would be the perfect place for my shoes and me on Reality TV.  However, since I have a real job that would not allow for 3 hour long lunches to keep up with the busy Botox schedule and wine drinking in the middle of the day, once again I am out.   It’s such a shame because I would be a really great guest on Andy Cohen’s Clubhouse—Mazel, Andy!

So alas, out of reality I must stay…at least out of Reality TV.  There might be people out there who would be interested in seeing an everyday girl in extraordinary shoes face real realities like trying to finish the monthly reports on time, pumping her own gas, cleaning her own toilet and walking the dog.  They might be fascinated at all the amazing things I do like pay my bills and not be followed around by cameras and boom microphones.  These people, however, are most likely busy being “Reality” TV and thus have no time for reality.

Until the day when the tables turn and true reality becomes the NEW reality, I will just keep dreaming up my show.  Hey, what about a reality where a shoe girl spend hours organizing her shoe closet and trying on designer heels?  Sounds fascinating to me!

 

Occupy Shoes January 1, 2012

Filed under: Its All About the Shoes — theislandshoegirl @ 2:43 pm
Tags: , , , , ,

Nobody better try to protest these shoes. Photo by Jean Thornton.

I had a terrifying thought the other day and it has caused me some great concern.  Now I am not one to push a political agenda on this blog unless that agenda has to do with banning Uggs.  I believe that a ballot box is where those issues most belong and if you don’t have the time to vote, I don’t have the time to listen to you.  But I have to admit that I am one to voice an opinion when requested or amongst friends. 

However, my fear has to do with The Occupy Movement.  See, I had a brief flash of terror when I thought this movement might spread to my shoe closet.  I figure I just might be in the 1% of shoe owners (please note that this is the only 1% I am in) and what if the other 99% of shoe owners decide that they should have some of my shoes?  Could the other 99% of shoe owners see my shoe collection as an unequal distribution of shoes?

If Occupy Shoes continues to gain momentum I might wake up one day to find protestors occupying my shoe closet.  They might be marching around carrying signs that read “We are the 99% who wear flat shoes.”  A group wearing Birkenstock sandals might set up a drum circle near my designer heels, while another cluster begins one of those annoying chants where everyone repeats what the leader says. 

Having a group of protestors in my shoe closet would surely drive my dog crazy, not to mention put a serious strain on the one bathroom in my apartment.  My landlord might not be too happy either as the extra traffic could cause unintentional damage.  Plus my apartment is a place where you can relax quietly, read a book, or perhaps toss a tennis ball to my dog.  I would likely have to remove the Occupy Shoes protestors; of course I am not violent but I might have to spray Febreze on them to get them out.  I am sure that somewhere along the way I will have to give a press conference explaining that, while I support everyone’s right to shoes, blocking my right to shoes is not the way to go about it. 

I of course believe everyone has a right to shoes, I don’t think that in our society, which is so shoe rich, that anybody should be barefoot.  Yet at the same time I have to point out that I paid for all of my shoes.  I worked many hours for my shoe collection, sometimes working two jobs just to get a pair of Manolo Blahnik’s. I was not born with a silver shoe on my feet.  My parents did not own a shoe store which I had unending access to; I only had hard work to get my feet in shoes.  So why all the sudden am I supposed to share my shoe wealth with others who perhaps have never worked a 12 hour shift just to buy Prada pumps?

Yes, I understand that very little in life is free (except living in a park apparently) and it can be expected that a person might gather some financial baggage along the way.  While financial baggage might not be as cute a Kate Spade tote, it does not mean you don’t have carry it.  If you earned a college degree you cannot cry foul if that degree does not come with a six figure salary that makes your student loans magically disappear in a year.  And if you earned a college degree in something that does not have a corresponding career field, may I suggest looking into a wait service job in the meantime.  I am sure you are working on the great American novel, but until then you can recite the specials.   

I don’t mean to sound harsh and uncaring.  I do care. I care a lot which is why I work at a job where I actually get to the change my community and the lives of others.  I do this by helping people find work, teaching them how to budget and manage their money, and hopefully they will be prepared for the hard times ahead.  And I hope that they will be able to buy as many shoes as they can afford to.  Those that I help might not be able to make it into the top 1%, but they surely will not stay in the bottom 1%.

Dear Occupy Movement, please do not occupy my shoe closet.  I might be in the top 1% of shoes but I got here the old fashioned way… a lot of hard work and waiting patiently to earn to earn my shoes.  And if you still think you should occupy my shoe closet a word of caution: I have been wearing heels my entire life and I can stand in stilettos much longer than you can.

 

Life Lessons with The Island Shoe Girl November 20, 2011

Filed under: Its All About the Shoes — theislandshoegirl @ 10:59 am
Tags: , , , , ,

An important life lesson...a Manolo can go a long way. Photo by Jean Thornton.

The other day an acquaintance at a meeting casually mentioned that she would be catching up on some shows on her DVR.  When I asked what shows she had on stand by (expecting something of quality viewing like some of the Real Housewives franchise), she told that she was watching Oprah’s Life Lessons.   This caught my interest because I had thought the competition between Oprah and I for who would be America’s most influential woman was at a standstill with the end of her show. 

But Oprah has restarted the race with her new show, which just so happens to be on her own television station, OWN.  If you ask me, this comes across as a little “me-ish”.  Apparently, one of the OWN’s shows is Oprah sitting around talking about her talk show and what she learned from each episode…a little life lesson!  Get it?  If not, I am sure Oprah will sit down and talk you through it.  Similarly, if you didn’t get the extremely high level of thought Oprah used in her afternoon talk show, she will break it down for you to a level even easier for you to comprehend. 

I must admit I have never watched one of Oprah’s Life Lessons.  I somehow have a feeling that these lessons would not be very helpful in my own life, seeing as how Oprah and I have a vast differences in our lifestyles, our economic standing, and more than likely, Oprah’s closet is the size of my entire apartment…in her weekend house.  I am guessing that the overall lesson of Life Lessons is that Oprah can get people to watch reruns of her talk show, sell advertisements for it like it’s a new show, and make even more money without very high production costs. 

I figure if Oprah can do it then why not me?  Okay, not me because first of all, I don’t have my own television show, let alone television network.  Secondly because I don’t think I have the same following. I am basing this on the fact that when I recommend a book, I generally lend it to a friend, not make it a best seller.   However, I do have this blog; so I figure this can be the starting point of my own set of life lessons…take that Oprah!

Life Lesson #1:  Once you start buying designer shoes, it’s hard to go back.  This can be an expensive lesson to learn.  Let’s face it, once you go Manolo, you can’t go back.  When you become accustomed to nicer and nicer things it’s hard to appreciate the slightly less nice things.  So take your time when acquiring more expensive shoes; like growing up too fast, you can’t go back once you’ve worn a Prada pump.

Life Lesson #2:  There’s always a bigger shoe closet out there.  You might think you might have the biggest or the best shoe closet, but let’s face it—somewhere out there is a bigger, better shoe closet.  You can’t compare your shoe closets to others; it will only frustrate you.  Instead seek to create the shoe closet that makes you happy.

Life Lesson #3:  A good cobbler is a hard to find.  There are some things in life that are plentiful: cheap wine, red nail polish, and Lifetime movies.  But cobblers are like parking spaces—you can’t find a good one when you really need it.  A cobbler should be treated like a good friend…good friends that can save your favorite pair of Stuart Weitzman’s.  And really, if you have a friend that can do that, you are a lucky girl.

My 4th and final Life Lesson: Never give away all your lessons at once!  Hey! A girl’s gotta keep a few tricks up her sleeve or in her knee-high boots.  If I give them all away here and now, why would you keep coming back to this blog?  I am sure Oprah has a whole vault of her life lesson programs tucked away somewhere in case she needs a Christmas Special or something.  Besides aren’t the best lessons in life the ones you learn on your own… notice that’s a little ‘own’ and not Oprah’s OWN.

 

 
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.