The Island Shoe Girl's Blog

Where shoes meet sand…

A Message to the Moms from a Non-Mom May 13, 2012

Filed under: Common Sense in Unsensible Shoes — theislandshoegirl @ 9:59 am
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A future shoe girl practices in her mom’s boots. Photo by Jessica Bennett

I am not a mom.  I am good with kids for about 6 hours and then my focus begins to wane.  Sometimes when I am watching a friend’s children, they will remark that I can get their kids to bed fairly quickly.  This is because I have been waiting for 9pm since I arrived at their house and am a firm believer that 9pm is when both children and the Mickey Mouse Playhouse need to shut it down for the night.

Children are powerless against me because I worked every trick in the book growing up.  Mystery 8:45 stomach aches?  Had it for years, kid.   Sudden burst of interest in reading at 8:50?  You would think I would be a lot smarter if I really wanted to read another book.  8:55 crippling hunger pains?  Hello, let’s not even pretend that’s original.  And of course there’s the ‘Hail Mary play’ at 9:00 of missing Mommy/Daddy?  Sell it somewhere else, sweetheart; this shoe girl is all stocked up on sad stories. 

Despite my tendency to rule with an iron stiletto, kids love me.  They love that I smell like perfume.  They love that my nails are shiny and red; that I wear tall shoes and have a purse that—although lacking Gold Fish snacks—always has some type of gum their parents would never give them.  And the only “grape juice” at my house has been aged into red wine.  I even have the dog their mom says they cannot take care of. 

I am their mom’s exotic friend who still lives in the land of “Single-ville.”  I have breakable things on shelves they can reach, magazines that talk about nail polish as opposed to furniture polish, and I don’t have to spell words out in the comfort of my own home.  I let them make a mess because at the end of the day I don’t have to clean it up. And I have never had to remove bath toys before taking a shower.  I am the opposite of mom. 

This is not a bad thing.  This is just how life separates the moms from the non-moms.  Moms get snuggles during bedtime stories; non-moms get glasses of wine while watching Bravo.  Moms get macaroni art; non-moms get to go to that artist show at a trendy gallery.   Moms get Mother’s Day breakfast in bed, and non-moms get a late brunch with their fellow single friends. 

I am willing to guess that most moms would not give up the snuggles, edible art, or slightly burnt toast for the things that non-moms enjoy.  Perhaps some day when their kids are grown, these moms will once again find themselves watching a Real Housewives reunion special and enjoy the sheer pleasure of being smarter than six women sitting on sofa screaming at each other over a child’s birthday gift.  But in the meantime, enjoy the little things that only come with being a mom.  

There comes a time for all moms when the macaroni art trade dries up (literally) and they suddenly have the time for painting nails and Sunday Brunch.    The non-mom things are easy to get back; the mom things are little bit harder to find again.  So, speaking for all the non-moms out there, never be annoyed that we can trick your kids into going to sleep or that your kid thinks my house is so cool and has a dog.  Because if your kids were really that impressed with us non-moms, we would have macaroni art.  So enjoy your day, all of you moms.  Let us non-moms buy you a drink… don’t worry; we can wait till your kids are asleep or in college—whichever comes first.

 

12 Steps to Being an Enlightened Shoe Girl April 29, 2012

Filed under: Its All About the Shoes — theislandshoegirl @ 11:19 am
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12 simple steps can lead you to place of shoe zen. Photo by Jean Thornton

1. Admit we were powerless over shoes- that our shoe closets have become unmanageable.  This is step that should not be feared but celebrated.   A weight will be lifted off your shoulders and a spring will re-appear in your step because now you have accepted that shoes control your life, and hey, it’s not your fault because you are powerless under their influence.  Embrace your personal weakness and let it be to the benefit of your feet.  Reorganize your shoe closet; this time without the shame that says you should hide your bounty of shoes but instead with says cherish them all.

2. Come to believe that a power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity.  That’s right—there’s a higher shoe power I like to call it the Sak’s Fifth Avenue shoe department.  As far as the eye can see it’s all shoes—so big it has its own zip code.  It is the perfect place to reflect and restore your inner peace while at the same time admiring the way your ankles look into those new Sergio Rossi’s!  It may be called a “shoe section” by others, but to me it’s a Zen Garden filled with sparkling buckles and gems adorning both pointed and rounded-toe pumps.

3. Make a decision to turn shoes over to the care of our higher shoe power, as we understand it.  In life it seems we always want to question what we are given.  In this step it is time to stop wondering if we are supposed to click on that Bluefly sale banner and trust that our higher shoe power wants us to.  It is not our job to question why we get the personal email invites to shop or if the sale is good enough.  It is our job to accept that sale as a gift and what our higher shoe power really wants us to do. 

4. Make a searching and fearless inventory of our shoes.  Get into the depths of your shoe closet and make an inventory of what is truly in there.  Rediscover shoes that have drifted to the back and reintroduce them to your rotation.  Hey, maybe those Cole Hann’s you bought for that wedding two years ago are the perfect partner for that new Kate Spade handbag!  For the thrifty shoe shopper, sometimes the best deals are the ones we find in our closets (or that of our friends).

5. Admit to our higher shoe power, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our shoe wrongs.  This is the hard one.  It’s time to admit that time you wore those Crocs out in public.  And while you are at it, confess to those times you did not treat your shoes with the respect they deserve.  Oh sure you were so tired you could not put your Jimmy Choos back their sleep bag… enough excuses! 

6. We’re entirely ready to remove all these defects of shoe character.  Open yourself up to make a real change in your life and remove those bad shoe habits from your future.  Let your mind be free from judgments about shoe designers who have left you flat in the past.  Some day in the future that same designer may just release a fabulous selection of wedges. 

7. Humbly ask to remove our shoe shortcomings.  This is hard and I am not sure it works because I have been praying for my foot to be the perfect size 6 for years but my big toes have not yet started to shrink. 

8. Make a list of all persons we have allowed to wear bad shoes, and become willing to make amends to them all.  We all have that person in our life who does not shoe as well as we do.  Perhaps we have tried to reach out; perhaps we have kept these concerns to ourselves.  Regardless, now is the time to right these shoe wrongs by helping them right their bad shoes.  As long and as difficult as it may be, it is time to teach those who shoe bad how to shoe good. 

9. Make direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.  Talking about shoes is always fun, even if the person listening does not know that.  But if you keep reminding them about how great shoes are, sooner or later they will get it.  The only time you should not help someone to shoe better is if they have a medical condition.  For example, my grandmother has bad knees and foot problems, so it is okay to excuse her sneakers.  (Plus, I have seen some photographs of her in her younger days and I definitely get a little bit of my shoe streak from her!)

10. Continue to take a personal shoe inventories and when we shoe wrong promptly admit it.  Now that our lives and our shoe closets are in order, keep that organization in your life.  When you make a bad shoe choice, admit it and grow from your mistakes.  It really is the only way to become a better shoe girl.  Perfection is a something we have to constantly strive for, and once one shoe goal is met, set another to keep yourself moving forward. 

11. Seek through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with our higher shoe power—and our favorite shoe salesclerk, praying for knowledge of insider sales and the latest trends that will give us the will and the power to carry out our shoe purpose in life.  Only when we open our minds and we free our inner shoe detective can we embrace the glory of shoes.  A good shoe girl loves a good deal and to be on top of the latest shoe trend… especially when that means being on top of 5-inch heels! 

12. Having had a spiritual shoe awakening as the result of these steps, we now carry this message to others and to practice these principles in all our shoe affairs.   You have let your inner shoe spirit out.  No longer are you someone who focuses solely on your own shoes—you are now someone who shares the message of shoe enlightenment.  Take this message to the masses and carry your wisdom far and wide… if you can carry it in a cute Marc Jacobs tote.

 

Facebook Intervention April 22, 2012

Filed under: Common Sense in Unsensible Shoes — theislandshoegirl @ 10:08 am
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If these shoes could Facebook.... photo by Stephanie Kaple

As I write this, I know I run the risk of committing Facebook suicide by saying what I am about to say.  I can imagine within in mere minutes that my “friends” list will drop to single digit numbers; yet I can no longer live in silence… at least status update silence.  Good people of the world, some of this Facebook content is getting out of control—and this is coming from a woman who thinks having fewer than 100 pairs of shoes is a sign of mental illness. 

I was not the first to jump on the Facebook bandwagon.  Like many others, I have had my hesitations about posting my random thoughts—let alone deep thoughts—online for the world (or my selected world) to see.  Despite my resistance, I came around and now find the updates and pictures of my friends a nice distraction when waiting in line at the post office or killing time during commercial breaks.  It has been strange to reconnect with people who would have become long lost faces found only in old high school yearbooks or as the faded names of those we used to play with in elementary days. 

I have been amazed by the ways I can now relate to these friends who once ran the risk of becoming just someone I used to know.  Now, we exchange recipes, recommend books and gossip about the latest celebrity breakups.  As much as I hate to admit it, it’s kind of amazing to see the friends I knew as kids (let’s face it, we were) now become these adults who have careers, change their communities, and yes answer the complicated questions from their own kids.  And I hope they find some old humor and new humor in my continuous updates about shoes…which I find insightful and important!

With all that said, I have to lay it on the line: I think some folks are spending way too much time updating their Facebook status and not enough time on their lives in general.  Okay, call me ridiculous and say nasty things, but you know I am right.  Scan down your news feed and you will surely find more than one friend who appears to spend the majority of their days looking for little cute sayings to share on their page, and these are generally done with some type of vintage style image.  Sometimes they are complaining about a lack of wine, sex, good men, or chocolate which all seem like problems a trip to the grocery store could resolve if you know how to shop and flirt in the meat department.  Other times they might just proclaim the obvious like how much a pet loves them. Listen—my dog should be loving me.  After all, I carry his poop around in a bag for several blocks at least three times a day. 

As if the fact that some portion of the population has the time to search out their cute little squares of wisdom to share all day, I also have to know where all of my friends are and what they are eating.  I get it, your friends are real and you go places where you have fabulous food and my friends are profile pictures that just posted a video of a cat falling off a piano.  Whatever!  And while we are on the subject, a status update about how your significant other is the love of your life is pointless.  After all, if you are in a serious relationship with anniversaries and perhaps public ceremony declaring your love I am going to assume that that person treats you well.  I don’t need an update about how much you love them or how they have given you some amazing or unique gift as an unexpected expression of that love.  Unless that expression included something from Tiffany’s or Chanel, I won’t be impressed. 

Here’s the deal: I want to know when your kid does something freaking adorable; I love it when you tell me your team won at bar trivia. Heck, I even care when the copier broke at your office.  I am right there with you, fellow Facebook warrior.  I want to support you like a platform Jimmy Choo supports my arches.  But I do not want to help run a fictional farm, create an imaginary zoo or collect fake diamonds.  Please let’s keep the status updates free of cute-kitten-hanging-from-a-tree-limb. Yes, it is almost Friday but this friend is not “hanging in there”; she’s more like to saw off the limb or de-friend you.

 

And the Winning Numbers Aren’t… April 8, 2012

Filed under: Common Sense in Unsensible Shoes — theislandshoegirl @ 12:07 pm
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Rhinestone bows will have to do until I find those winning numbers. I am writing to inform you that I am not one of the three Power Ball Lottery winners.  Sadly, I am not $640 million or $217 million richer this week.  I have not hidden secret tickets from my co-workers; I do not have an oversized check from the state lottery commission hidden under my bed.  No, I am still just your run-of-the-mill working shoe girl today. 

Despite the fact that I did not give to live the Paul Simon song and wear diamonds on the soles of my shoes, I have decided to pick myself up, dust on my not so sparkly stilettos, and carry on with my non-millionaire life.  Now you might be thinking that the fact that my state does not participate in this Power Ball Lottery would darken my dreams of winning.  But let’s face it, even the most isolated shoe girl heard about these mega millions.  Who wouldn’t dream a little dream about how those hundreds of millions would change her life?

I am proud to say that the first thoughts I had for how to use my imaginary multi-millions was for good.  Without much hesitation I could easily promise my first and most significant use of the money would be to give to some charities particularly close to my heart.  The thought of telling my boss that he was never going to have to worry about writing another grant or worry about another budget cut, but to say instead that from this moment onward we will worry only about saving lives would be pretty incredible.  I could imagine dashing off checks to my alma maters and providing for my family.  

But after the good deeds are done, I would still be a significantly wealthy lady.  And I do mean significantly wealthy lady.  I would be so wealthy that you could forget about me limiting myself to shoes closets.  It would be silly to think that a shoe room would do in this financial bracket; no, I would require a shoe house at this point.  And I mean a house made of shoes, carefully laid out and stacked to provide my little shoe-loving heart with a cocoon of stilettos. 

No longer would I have to hope to find a hidden pair of Manolo Blahnik’s on a sale rack.  If I had a desire to bargain hunt I could buy the entire outlet mall and then just roam about at my leisure.  Who needs guest rooms for all your visiting friends and family when you can have a guest block of houses?  Imagine the luxury of keeping your loved ones at a distance that will allow them to stay your loved ones.  I could even pay off my car… okay it’s a used Kia Rio, a scratch off lottery ticket could probably take care of that. 

But there would be downsides as well.  A girl of independent means would surely be a target of kidnappers, scoundrels, and politicians in need of Super PACs.  I am not sure what I would fear more—a lurking kidnapper or a loitering Rick Santorum.  Personally, I think I could fend off Santorum easily with a pack of my birth control pills.  And at this crazy level of wealth, I would have to start hanging out with Oprah when I wanted to be around someone richer than me.  How annoying would it be every time she picked up lunch and screamed, “You get a free salad!”

Yes, I am surely better off to be just another working stiff.  Especially since one winner will probably never get another spit-free Big Mac again.  Because while those poor (well not financially) folks who do have a winning ticket are now being thrust into a whole new world where dreams are quickly becoming reality and maybe even becoming nightmares, my dreams get to remain happy and in my head.

So yes, I will hum Diamonds On the Soles of Her Shoes a little bit louder this week while adding to the long list of dreams that might one day come true if I pick those winning numbers.  But I will consider myself lucky all the same to be just an Island Shoe Girl with rhinestones on the soles of my shoes.

 

Technology Block March 25, 2012

Filed under: Common Sense in Unsensible Shoes — theislandshoegirl @ 3:46 pm
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No app can replace the feel of a great pair of heels on your feet. Photo by Jean Thornton

During a meeting the other day, I discovered that ‘screens’ just about outnumbered the actual people in the meeting. 

Blackberry screens, I-phone screens, laptop screens and tablet screen, all glowing and zipping along far faster than those behind them.  As their owners—or those owned by these screens—tapped and poked at them, I could not help but be ashamed that my own Blackberry was consta

 ntly drawing my attention away from the meeting and to an update I probably didn’t really need.  Well…I did need to know about that shoe sale starting in mere minutes. 

But shoe sales aside, I think I might be hitting a technological wall.  Maybe I am getting old; perhaps I am little outdated; you could even call me old-fashioned.   But I think technology should be put on hold before it takes over too much of my life. 

 I am grateful for all that technology has offered me.  Technology has allowed me to be very to the point without being rude.  I can text message to avoid an awkward conversation on the phone.  I can email an insanely brief message from my Blackberry with a cute little tagline that automatically forgives it being incredibly short.  I can even Tweet a quick line out on any topic from my nail polish color to primary results.

And yes, it is nice that I can catch up on my favorite television shows by waving a magic wand at the box beneath my flat screen, high definition television.  By the way, a warning to some of you folks on that high definition television: technology is not being kind to you or your pores.??? Technology has made watching a movie as simple as clicking, getting rid of those last minute movie rental runs and those delicious gooey treats so conveniently located next to the register. 

Okay, so you can make a black & white movie on your phone.  But didn’t Paul Simon write a whole song about the joys of color film?  Remember those nice bright colors?  Sharing photographs used to mean sitting next to someone and passing actual pictures back and forth; now they slide across a screen.  It is amazing that I can see my niece wearing the outfit I sent her on my phone, but maybe that just provides another excuse to not see her in person.   

 I fear technology might be going too far.  Technology is starting to cause a whole rash of extinctions.  The aforementioned video store is one; now the Post Office could be on the chopping block; and books are the next piece of nostalgia at risk.  Why wait in line for stamps when you can email?  Why turn pages when you can simply tap them along? 

 I will tell you why!  Because today it’s a screen tap and tomorrow it’s another experience.  Today you have a digital camera; tomorrow you have a digital handbag.  The next thing we know that app that tells you where the closest shoe store is, may try to replace the actual experience of trying on shoes.  I don’t know about you, but I cannot imagine any piece of technology replacing the feel of a fresh Manolo Blahnik. 

When I go to bed tonight, while my Blackberry might only rest a few inches from head, I will take greater comfort that my stilettos are resting just as near.  Sure, technology might make the digital world closer, but it’s better have my world right where I can touch it or put it on my feet.

 

The Spring Broken March 18, 2012

Filed under: Key West; Not Just for Flip Flops — theislandshoegirl @ 11:31 am
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Spring Breakers might prefer flip flops but this older shoe girl can afford Manolo's. Photo by Jean Thorton

I am on Spring Break this week; well, I am actually on someone else’s Spring Break.  Living on a tourist island which also offers warm weather when many other parts of the continental United States do not, often means that I am frequently running into vacationers.  For the most part vacationers are pretty harmless folks.  In fact, most of them just want to be like us ‘locals’.  They want to drink in our bars, lounge on our beaches, and dine on our fresh catches… yet they do not seem to want to pay our high rents.  Either way, they clearly have a desire to briefly live the life that we experience daily.

Yet, some times of the year seem to provide more than our fair share of guests.  Spring Break is one of those times.  Seniors from both ends of the spectrum—those being college seniors and some being senior citizens—and oddly both groups are extremely susceptible to the lure of an all-you-can-eat buffet.  This is a time when parking spots become limited, bars become crowded, and traffic becomes a feasible defense for a charge of murder.  It is no surprise that many locals find themselves choosing a porch swing over their favorite bars that have suddenly become the college of the week hangout. 

This shoe girl cannot help but see her greater age reflected in the lack of age amongst the younger spring breakers.  As I write this next to my open living room window, I have heard four different body parts be discussed as groups of college students make their way downtown.   All four of these body parts I would not discuss outside of a doctor’s office, let alone on the way to dinner. 

But it is not just the difference in what is appropriate conversation for an evening stroll, but in so many other areas as well.  For example, as an older shoe girl I understand that neon does not look good anybody.  I also do not find extreme joy in honking a scooter horn, or any horn for that matter, as I drive down the street.  And I have not found a need to shout a chant of any sort that proclaims some combination of Greek letters as the best while drinking in a bar.

These temporary guests to my little island serve as a reminder that we are all young once.  And sure a few of these visitors might end up passed out in a flower bed or maybe leave an abandoned flip flop….or some other garment on the doorstep of a local.  Most of us will turn a blind eye and smile with a little smirk, remembering when we were young-er. 

As I witness their drunken walks of shame in the morning while I get ready to go to my job, I can rest assured in the knowledge that someday they will be me. Because as much as it pains me to admit it…I used to be them.  And while they will only be visiting for a few days, their hard earned money (or that of their parents’) will remain behind.  So as another Spring Break season flies by, I say, “Have fun, Future of America; just please keep it down when you’re walking home.  Some of us have work tomorrow.” 

 

 

Let Them Wear Flats March 11, 2012

Filed under: Its All About the Shoes — theislandshoegirl @ 10:58 am
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Not everyone wants to live in stilettos, but that just leaves more for everyone else. Photo by Jean Thornton

Lately, it seems like no one can let anyone else have his or her own opinions.  It’s not just that you have your own opinion and someone with a differing opinion says, “Oh, okay that’s nice” and then goes along with their day—or even just offers a respectful reply that states a differing view point without attacking.  But, no! Instead, the disagreeing person has to attack the speaker with the differing opinion, not based on any inaccuracies in their statements, but with horrific personal attacks that have little to nothing to do with the original issue.

So I would like to shed some light on how to be a polite adult when dealing with someone you do not see eye-to-eye with.  It’s a well-known fact that I am a bit of high heel fanatic.  I prefer a good five inches beneath me on a daily basis.  I think a day without towering heels is like a night sky without stars; sure you can still look up, but what is there to see without a little sparkle?  My legs are permanently altered by my love of high heels; my foot doctor is basically convinced I can never wear flat shoes again without doing actual physical harm to myself.  While this might cause some concerns for those not so enthusiastic about stilettos, I look it as a huge achievement…not to mention it might keep me from ever having to participate in any forced physical labor. 

Nonetheless I do not attack those who do not share my desire to see the world from atop of stilettos.  Sure, I might not like when others wear flats.  I might think to myself that a girl in flip- flops and a sundress could improve her style with a cute kitten heel or perhaps a strappy wedge…okay so sometimes I do tell the flip-flop wearer.  But what is important is that I do not attack that flip-flop wearer I try to educate them to my point of view.  At no time do I find an urge to call the flip-flop wearer a slut or prostitute.  I do not tell that flip-flop wearer I think she is cheap because those flops came from a store that ended with a “mart.” Or that the slabs of plastic she calls footwear were made in foreign country and therefore she must be a traitor. 

Yes, I may know that wearing flat shoes will do nothing to improve either the appearance of the wearers’ butts or their posture that naturally comes with wearing heels.  However, I do not criticize their butts because slamming someone’s physical traits is something a small child, mean high school girl, or bitter housewife might do.  A mature adult would simply present his/her side of the issue and let it go at that—just like a mature adult would say goodnight to her heels every night. So I say, “Let them wear flats!” Because if wearing flats makes you personally happy and at the end of the day it does not affect my own personal happiness and right to wear high heels, then what does it really matter?

After all, with all of the larger issues in the world to be upset about, and with all of the truly bad things happening out there, is it really worth getting upset just because I might choose to live differently than someone else.  If at the end of the day I can at least see the other side of another person’s point of view and they can see mine, aren’t we both the bigger person?  And one of us might even be the taller for it. 

So yes! Let them wear flats! And leave the stilettos for me.

 

Believing in Jupiter March 4, 2012

Filed under: Common Sense in Unsensible Shoes — theislandshoegirl @ 4:24 pm
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Perfect shoes for gazing at Jupiter and beyond. Photo by Jean Thornton.

The other evening on the national news there was a brief mention that, due to a rare aligning of the stars and planets, Jupiter would be visible to the naked human eye.  Later during my nightly walk with my faithful dog Stanley, I looked up at the sky and remembered this little astronomy tidbit.  From the sidewalk I could clearly see the moon and a second large, brightly glowing object slightly to the side of the moon.  While I was uncertain if this second radiant spot in the sky was merely a brighter star or truly the depths of space, I choose to believe the latter. 

I could not help but feel that by believing I was catching a glimpse of Jupiter I was perhaps also reminding myself of the larger mystery of true belief.  Sure, the thought that I was catching a hint of the great beyond that most nights would only be found by telescope might be a stretch of the imagination.  Then again, so much of life…at least my shoe life…is true stretch, especially for my calf muscles.

As I strolled along the street, my mind wandered to the many other things that I had managed to blindly believe in life.  I have the strong belief that Manolo Blahnik thinks of women like me when designing a pair of heels and not just of socialites and debutantes.  I truly believe that Mr. Blahnik imagines his stilettos beneath my toes as I glide through the grocery store.  I blindly believe that each buckle, rhinestone, and embellished strap is meant for a hardworking girl who saved and scrimped for those pretty designs.    

I believe with total certainty that while karma is a bitch, she is also very fair and just.  And while sometimes other aspects of life might not be fair, good karma will work it all out in the end.  Karma corrects what others things cannot and is the reason revenge is often unnecessary.  At the end of the day, little else matters if I am the person my dog thinks I am and, if he can have unending faith in me, I can as well. 

I believe that when so much else in life is completely impractical there is no point in my shoes being pratical.   Sometimes my thoughts may seem outlandish and my ideas might seem larger than my brain can process.  Yet, my most ridiculous ideas have become some of my best, and my biggest regrets are the ideas I let fade away.  It is because I can believe in those crazy thoughts I can still believe that Paris is more than a picture on a postcard; it’s a destination within reach some day. 

So…if I can believe in all of these things, then surely thinking I can see Jupiter as I stroll down the sidewalk on a little island far below the stars is not so out-of-the-realm of rational thinking.  Because just maybe, as I walk along, somewhere Manolo is sketching a heel for a single shoe girl who walks her dog in stilettos, and maybe somewhere karma is correcting whoever hit and ran my car in 2006.  After all, as long as Paris is just a passport stamp away and my dog loves me, seeing the farthest corners of space is very easy to believe too.

 

Ignoring What I Know Now February 26, 2012

Filed under: Common Sense in Unsensible Shoes — theislandshoegirl @ 5:22 pm
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Should you sometimes ignore past blisters and wear the shoes again? Photo by Jean Thornton

Before I can begin my normal blog this week, I think I should explain my sudden absence.  My laptop had a very-near-death experience not too long ago.  Did you know there is a ’blue screen of death’ that can take over a computer?  Well, I learned about this blue screen of death the hard way when it was staring me in the face.  Luckily for me, I happen to know someone who can bring a computer back from the blue screen of death and return it to the multi colored screen of life…or at least in my laptop’s case, the background of shoes.  Let this be your friendly reminder to back up your documents!  Thankfully, blue screen of death only affects computers and cannot spread to stilettos.

Amazing how much you need to write when you are without your laptop and how little of that you can remember when it is returned to life.  May I say that I had a great deal to say about Valentine’s Day this year, and I will advise you that updating your Facebook status with pictures of flowers and cheap teddy bears does not make me think you are loved, but only that you can be fooled by gifts bought at the grocery store. 

With nothing to type on these last two weeks, I had an amazing amount of time to read words written by others and to take my faithful dog on long walks while listening to some of my favorite lyrics.  One night I re-played the old Rod Stewart song When I Was Younger that contains the song lyrics, “I wish that I knew what I know now when I was younger.” I couldn’t help but ponder these words that evening—especially since without the Internet you have far more time for pondering too.   I could not help but think that I did not agree with those words.  In fact, I think I don’t even want to know now what I know some days.

If this song is accurate then having the wisdom we gain in life (or should I perhaps be even more cautious and just go with ‘knowledge’) should perhaps make things better.  I would argue the opposite: I think if I knew less of life’s little lessons I would be a braver shoe girl.  For example, I know now that too much alcohol will result in a far more difficult morning.  Yet, when I was younger I was more naïve about “one more drink” and, instead of paying my tab and bowing out gracefully, I stayed and laughed far later into the night. 

If I had known when I was younger about those hidden costs of life such as flat tires, broken AC units, and dogs that will swallow anything just to see if they can get it back out, I would have certainly put more ‘savings’ aside and in the process cut back on a trip I could barely afford or a pair of shoes that made my heart race.  Heck, if I had known there was going to be a power spike two Saturdays ago I would have unplugged my laptop.  But to be honest E! News was also to blame for that too.

Yes, I realize that those who do not learn from our history are doomed to repeat it.  And I am not saying that there are not good lessons to learn.  It’s true that a blister can teach you a lesson about the dangers of wearing new heels out dancing.  But sometimes these lessons can hold us back from experiences.  And even when these experiences turn out to be bad they can still offer a lot of good.  Sometimes we have to ignore what we know and put on the ridiculously tall heels for a night on the town—or order another drink even if it might make tomorrow morning a little slower.

So perhaps what Rod Stewart should sing is, “I am glad I learned what I did at the appropriate time in my life.”  I guess it’s not as catchy.   But maybe at times we need to ignore what we have learned or maybe acknowledge it while still doing as we please.  After all, the best lessons in life might be worth learning twice.

 

Men of Science vs. Women of Stilettos January 29, 2012

Filed under: Its All About the Shoes — theislandshoegirl @ 10:14 am
Tags: , , , ,

Who needs science when you have stilettos? Photo by Jean Thornton

Sometimes I think men are just jealous of how strong women really are.  How else can you explain some men’s constant attacks on women’s footwear?  The most recent of these attacks came from two scientists whose recent research findings were published in the Journal of Applied Physiology.  These men of science say their research shows that women who wear heels for 40 hours or more a week moved with shorter, more forceful strides, and that stiletto strutting ladies’ feet were perpetually flexed in a toes pointed position.  These movements continue even when barefoot (okay, here is the first issue I have with this study—why are they taking off their shoes?) because the fibers in the calf muscles of shoe girls had shortened, thus putting much greater mechanical strain on their calf muscles than those women who had the poor taste to wear flat shoes. 

Men of Science, such as these researchers, might have a few x-rays, statistics, and charts on their side and perhaps some proven facts.  But as a Woman of Stiletto I cannot help but find fault with this study.  First of all, the designers did not study each woman in heels of varying heights.  I think it’s perfectly logical to assume that any woman who wears heels for 40 hours or more a week likely has a vast variety of shoes in many types of styles, heel heights, and support.  A Mary Jane pump might provide greater support than a strappy sandal.  A good shoe girl would recognize this and consider this when selecting shoes for the day.  Yes, many of us shoe girls will push ourselves to extreme for a cocktail party or evening out, but we generally have better sense when preparing for a busy day at the office.  It is logical to wear those more sensible Mary Jane Pumps when strutting up the street. 

Another problem I see with this study is that is was not done in a natural environment, but inside a laboratory instead.  Here the women were put through controlled tests, walking certain distances while having their every move (or lack their of) recorded with electrodes.  But Women of Stilettos do not simply walk back and forth in a laboratory!  We strut down the street with confidence and grace to a sound track in our mind.  Show me a girl wobbling in her heels, and I will show you a girl with no personal theme song playing.  This study also gave the Women of Stilettos a lack of purpose in their walk.  A woman with a destination and drive behind her walk is a woman on a clear mission.  She is moving not to go solely from one side of a room to another, but to go somewhere, to do something with her actions. 

But beyond these issues I see with how the research was conducted, and I offer another theory, which is this: Women of Stilettos are women of faith.  We climbed on top of something that should scientifically and logically not hold our weight.  No one would design a building with the logic of putting all the weight onto two tiny spokes.  Yet, women do it and have faith that we can hold ourselves up.  Women of Stilettos are women who believe that we will not fall down; even when we wobble a little we can self correct.  We see the world of cobble stone roads, loose gravel walkways, or grassy fields not as hindrances but just other challenges to overcome.  They are just another step that must be taken to move forward. That step might be shorter but they are forceful steps as the research of Men of Science shows. 

Men of Science might be able to measure how my toes point even when resting or that my calf muscles have been altered by my choice of shoes.  But as a Women of Stiletto I kind of have to shrug my shoulders and say, “so what” and simply keep on walking.  Because a Women of Stiletto does not stop long enough to hear what Men of Science have researched; we are too busy moving ahead.

 

 
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